Many marriages break up over the pain of signs of infidelity. Love and trust that was promised is taken away. The result of infidelity is both pain as well as hurt.

To find some of the sources of that pain, here is a case study of Sue A. And Joe R. As they work on their emotional infidelity struggles.

Sue was the kid next door when Joe was growing up. During his senior year, they began dating and in his junior year in college, Joe proposed. They have three children, a girl and two boys.

Money was sometimes tight as the kids began to grow older so Joe started working late at the office to make ends meet. A few months later Sue noticed that money was just as tight or tighter even though Joe was working very late almost every night. When she mentioned this to Joe, a big fight followed and Joe left.

After a time to cool off, Joe calls Sue and apologizes. During the call, he also admits that the reason there is no extra money is that he has been involved with someone else. He suggests that he and Sue should find a counselor and try to reconcile.

The heartbreak for Sue is great and forgiveness seems far off. Her husband she has known since she was three has been her betrayer. This was something of which she would have never dreamed. He knew more about her than she felt she knew herself. The hurt was immeasurable.

We all love stories to end happily, however this one may end that way. These deep hurts do not go away overnight. Divorce often follows such mistrust.

Any time in the future, that Joe is late for dinner; those old feelings begin to surface once again. Has he found someone else? Whenever he becomes annoyed at the situation, Joe may be tempted to escape to another place without all the pressures of home.

Somewhere along the way, friends and families may find out what has happened. They too may feel the hurt and friendships may even be broken.

If divorce ensues, children are often torn between the parents. When one parent relocates to a new city, visitation becomes more limited. Many times they see the parent they do not live with only one or two times yearly at most. Children are pained by the lack of quality time spent with the parent. Parents loose the close contact they once had with their children.

The pain continues. Even if Sue finds someone else with whom to spend the rest of her life, Joe’s infidelity in marriage can continue to haunt the new relationship. She may fear sharing feelings since her trust was broken earlier.

Joe’s money troubles have only just begun. Divorce and living the divorced lifestyle is an expensive process, both financially and emotionally. He now pays child support and has to pay his own rent or home payment as well as other bills. Joe also feels the pain of his failure. Infidelity has also brought pain to the instigator.

While infidelity may be tempting, remember that there is a high pain price to pay because surviving infidelity can be harder. It’s all about marital infidelity.