Why Do People Cheat In Relationships?
Sunday, December 20th, 2009
How many times have most of us heard the comment from someone who has been cheated on that they had no idea that their partner was involved in an extramarital affair? Often this is because they have failed to pick up on the inevitable small or subtle signs, of their partner’s infidelity. In a strong marital relationship, any attraction to a member of the opposite sex will be merely passive and any intimate advances from a member of the opposite sex will be rejected. Generally speaking the reason why people cheat on their partner is because of something lacking, or perceived to be lacking, in their marriage.
There are many signs of cheating, some obvious, some not so.
Listed below are six of the main reasons for a person turning to another for sexual involvement outside their marriage:
1. Protest
There are many people who consider that they are within their rights to have an affair particularly if there is no intimacy at home because they and their spouse are continually arguing over matters. These people will often seek understanding and peace in the arms of another person as compensation for the problems they are facing in their marriage.
2. Insecurity
Some of the more common reasons for this are:
- Many men are not able to come to terms with their wife devoting so much of her time to the children and ignoring their spousal communication and contact.
- This has a flow on effect to lack of a general lack of intimacy in a marriage which leaves a man dissatisfied and unsure about the strength of their relationship.
- A man may be over involved at work or at play and neglect his wife and their marital relationship. It is quite common in this event for a woman to stray into a relationship with another man who will give her those things that are missing in the relationship with her husband.
- Advancing age is a major reason for a person feeling insecure. Ageing brings with it a feeling of vulnerability and mortality.
3. Sex & Love
When one of the spouses has waning or lacks interest in a sexual relationship with their spouse but the spouse’s sexual feelings are still strong, an affair is often thought to be the answer to sexual fulfillment.
A person may still need the same sort of love that they first had at the beginning of their relationship. This is of course not realistic because the total sexual and emotional “in love” feeling that both partners had for each other is a short lived thing – many people don’t appreciate this and yearn for what was in the early period of their relationship. When that rush of sexually charged love goes, a person may think that something is wrong with their marriage and look for fulfillment elsewhere.
In many of these situations a straying partner will convince themselves that they have only indulged in an extramarital affair because of what is often called the “fun” that is missing from their marital relationship.
Love and romance is the lifeblood of a successful marriage. This article provides tips on what you need to do to remain romantic lovers.
4. The One Night Stand
We often hear about “the one night stand” – this is more often than not an affair that has little relevance to the person that has indulged in it. Often such an affair is conducted in a state of intoxication or out of sexual curiosity. The impact on your partner, if they find out about it, can be devastating nevertheless.
5. Growing Apart
With the passing of time, couples interests and opinions on various matters often go in different directions. Sometimes these differences mean that there is no longer any common ground the result of which may be that couples are not in a position to give each other what they need.
6. Breakdown of a Relationship
When a marriage reaches the stage where there are irreconcilable differences it is common for one or both partners to go about searching for someone else so that they have companionship when the marriage dissolves.
Here are a couple of very common reasons why some individuals are “affair prone”, and remain having extramarital affairs throughout a committed relationship, even though they by and large have no intention of breaking it up:
Excitement
Some people are simply hooked on the excitement of the initial feelings of love and intimacy that they experienced in their marriage even though they recognize that this is a situation that doesn’t last. They don’t want to leave their marriage partner so they get involved in a series of secret one night stands and other exciting experiences such as clandestine meetings with members of the opposite sex. These encounters may or may not involve sex.
Fear of Intimacy
Strange as it may seem, there are those who find difficulty in handling full intimacy in a married relationship. Often an involvement outside marriage provides the means of creating a certain amount of distance and privacy. What we have in this situation is basically two part time relationships, neither of which places the guilty spouse in a situation where they are required to have full intimacy in their marriage or in the illicit relationship. This kind of arrangement tends to satisfy the requirement for a degree of detachment from their marital relationship.
